Sunday, September 7, 2008

Oedilf Limericks

This is an interesting site I came across by accident. The aim of is to provide a definition for every word in the dictionary in limerick form! So far they've got as far as da-. Here are a few I submitted - the words in bold are the definition words

McCartney, you won’t be a star
If you take up that old bass guitar.
You need to play lead
If you want to succeed
And become a big rock ‘n’ roll star.

A woodsman said conspiratorially,
“I demand that my grave’s marked arboreally.
In eternal slumber,
Surrounded my lumber,
I want this!” he snapped dictatorially.

In mediaeval Europe, black plague
Killed millions from Cork to The Hague
King Edward the Second
Died too, it was reckoned,
Though some say he just became vague.

An otherwise fine doctor would not
Inject, for he was not a good shot.
The one time he tried,
Sure, the patient near died
When the needle, off mark, caused a blood clot.

When a cow in Wisconsin became a bull,
The owner thought this might be claimable.
“Oh the courts will decide
If the last owner lied,
Or whether ‘tis God who is blamable.”

Francis Drake’s circumnavigation
In England caused great consternation.
The flat earthists suspected
His tale was injected
With great leaps of imagination.

The Roman historian Sallust
Walked barefoot o’er a quayside of ballast.
Though he rubbed on some cream
Once aboard the trireme,
The soles of his feet became calloused.

A confederate soldier outspokenly
Declared that the guns should have woken Lee.
When their fury was vented,
The soldier relented.
“I take it all back,” he said brokenly.

Aboard a Berlin-bound Lufthansa,
There performed a world-champion break-dancer.
‘Pon his head he gyrated.
“What a nut!” someone stated,
But the lad was too dizzy to answer.

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