East West Relations

The lovely Olga Sornov
Was the archetypal spawn of
The new, evolving Muscovite society.
She popped pills as big as Smarties
At the summer season parties
And she chose her lovers with great impropriety.

The blond and wealthy Olga
Had a dacha on the Volga,
With a butler and some horses in the stables,
And a wardrobe quite gigantic
Full of fashions transatlantic,
With all the very best designer labels.

But the Russian winter season
Is both party-less and freezin’,
And Olga did not need her social diary.
So she tried to get a visa
For Los Angeles and Pisa
But the Government rebutted her enquiry.

But then a circus came a-touring,
Which young Olga found alluring,
A cowboy circus all the way from Texas,
In which they rounded up some cattle,
And then staged a Wild West battle,
With an arrow piercing Custer’s solar plexus.

But the hero of this catchy
Little show was an apache,
Yes, Johnny Shotgun was a true blue Injun.
He was brave and lion-hearted,
Jet-black hair so neatly parted,
Performing feats of daring without whingein’.

And when Olga Sornov saw him
Cut the cowboys down before him,
She knew at once this was her opportunity
To exchange her frozen palace
For a mansion out in Dallas,
And therefore she pursued him with impunity.

Well, to shorten this long story,
And avoiding details gory,
Olga was successful in her venture,
Though some spiteful tongues quite snidely,
Whispered loudly, whispered widely,
That Johnny must have suffered from dementia.

They were married in St. Basil’s,
Where the architecture dazzles,
And Olga Sornov-Shotgun she became.
And the newly-hyphenated
New American now stated
“I always liked a double-barrelled name.”