Occupational Therapy [ How Do I Love Thee? ]

If I were a steeplejack, I would walk tall,
Were I a town crier, I’d give you a call,
If I were a gardener, our love would so bloom,
If I were a builder, I’d give you more room,
If I were a soldier, I’d capture your heart,
If I were a baker, I’d make you a tart,
If I were a sailor, I’d give you a wave,
If I were a sexton, I’d act awful grave,
If I were a fisherman, I’d drop you a line,
If I worked on the pit face, then I’d make you mine,
Were I a speech therapist, what could I say?
If I were a barber, there’d be hell toupee,
If I were a chef, I would relish your smile,
If I had been shipwrecked, I’d walk down the isle,
If I were a carpenter, I’d try a new tack,
Were I a masseur, I’d exclaim, “Good, your back.”If I were an astronaut, I’d give you some space,
If I were a priest, I would worship your face,
Were I a gamekeeper, I’d hold you so deer,
Were I a mechanic, I’d help change your gear,
If I bungi-jumped, I would fall for you madly,
If I were a servant, I’d slave for you gladly,
Were I a greengrocer, would they lettuce play?
Were I a birdwatcher, I’d ring you each day,
If I were a dancer, about you I’d rave,
If I were a goalie, I’d work hard and save,
If I were a doctor, would I love you in vein?
If I read the weather, then long may you rain,
Were I a sign-writer, I’d write you a letter,
If I were a poet, I’d rhyme this verse better.