A Dastardly Crime

They broke into the butchers shop
In the middle of the night.
They helped themselves to every chop
And every piece of ham in sight.

The butcher thought he heard a noise
And gave the local Gards a ring.
Too late, alas, the butcher boys
Had stripped the shop of everything.

The butcher crept out of his bed,
Trembling lightly with the fright,
Went downstairs with silent tread,
Not daring to turn on the light.

“What’s the beef?” called out his wife,
A frightened question from above.
“Dunno,” he answered, “’Pon my life,
I cannot see a sausage, love.”