Edible Warriors

The Rainbow Warrior landed on a far-flung distant island,
Somewhere east of India and somewhere west of Thailand,
The crew decided to go ashore to do some exploration,
And so they battled gamely through the outsize vegetation.

They hadn’t gone a mile or so when they were quite dumbfounded,
When suddenly they looked around and found themselves surrounded.
Circling them were hostile natives, spears already flexed.
The crew all wondered what on earth was going to happen next.

The natives all were camouflaged against the jungle scenery,
The sailors were quite roughly seized and frogmarched through the greenery.
Some distance off they heard a drum announcing their arrival,
And each one gulped and wet themselves and prayed for their survival.

Sadly the poor Rainbow crew were right to wet their trousers,
They came out in a clearing with some bockety straw houses.
Naked children played together eating worms and soil,
While four big copper cooking pots were coming to the boil.

The sailors’ clothes were handed out and then they all got skinned.
The natives threw them in the pots and licked their lips and grinned.
They added shreds of bamboo shoots and bits of snot for seasoning,
To give the meal a bit of oomph, and you can see their reasoning.

They dished out all the mariners just as the sun descended,
And everybody ate their fill and said that it was splendid,
Except for one sad youth dressed in a brand new pair of jeans
Who got told off by his ma because he wouldn’t eat his Greens.