Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
And kitchen knives may scar me.
And beer kegs can break my legs,
Just like the Russian army.

Dominoes may crush my toes,
And lead to amputation.
And also my wife’s apple pie
Can cause asphyxiation.

Babies’ bibs can break my ribs
And cause severe gashes,
And bowler hats as big as cats
Can tear out my eyelashes.

Grains of sugar can be a bugger,
And pot-pourri’s distressing,
And drunken flies may pierce my eyes.
God! Isn’t life depressing?