Friday, August 3, 2007

Big Al

Long, long ago in Ancient Greece,
A princely youth found great release
In showing off his great invention
And revelling in the attention.

A small, rectangular piece of tin
With lots of little holes therein,
Over which, when one ran cheese,
It shredded it with perfect ease.

The ancient Grecians were amazed,
And sat around their forums dazed,
And asked the gods in tones of awe,
Why they’d not thought of that before.

Emboldened thus, our hero prince,
By using meat, invented mince,
And all the population cried,
“This young lad should be deified!”

Not content with praise at home,
He saddled up his horse to roam
And travel out to many lands,
Through fiery glens and shifting sands.

In Sparta though, they didn’t care,
But sat there knitting underwear.
The prince’s urgency increased
And hurried on towards the east.

They received him very well in Crete,
And marvelled at his use of meat,
And Persians trembled at the knees,
When watching how he shredded cheese.

The Egyptians built a lighthouse on a
Coastal island in his honour,
And then he rose to Samarkand,
Amazing folk in every land.

He crossed the Khyber Pass in spring,
No longer prince, but now a king,
A-grating cheese in every town,
While all the villagers bowed down.

Throughout each land, he was the biz.
In fact, the whole known world was his,
And everybody would relate,
The tale of Alexander the Grate.

No comments: