Chief Inspector Mulligan Plays Snooker

Chief Inspector Mulligan,
On holidays in Crete,
Decided he should come inside
Lest he should overheat.

He got back to his hotel room
And had a lukewarm shower,
And then he read the Constitution
For a half an hour.

To clean his boots, he went and bought
A tin of axle grease.
“Open up!” he shouted at it.
“This is the police!”

To keep amused, he then went down
And had a game of snooker.
The balls just seemed to disappear –
He was a lucky fluker.

But as he went to play the blue,
The white against the baulk,
He made to polish up his cue,
But could not find the chalk.

He checked the tables, checked the chairs,
On top of the light sockets.
Despairingly, he even thrust
An arm down all the pockets.

He checked his Garda epaulettes,
The folds within his vest.
And then he cried out, “Ha! Come out!
You’re under a rest!”